Gotta blog more often. Come acrossed some blogs that have been left abandoned. I suppose Facebook and Twitter have really changed how people communicate. Reaquinted with people from my past. Good to know that my friends are in the best of health and happy with their families.
My boys are growing up so fast. Ashari has been bringing us to outdoor places to go on long hikes and climbs. Feels good to be one with nature, away from the madness and crowds.
Friday, March 20, 2009
I am exhausted, both physically and emotionally. It has really been a roller coaster ride since December. In a routine checkup, dad was discovered to have a heart condition. Further tests in Gleneagles and in NUH through angiography revealed that he has 3 100% blocked arteries.
In January 28 , dad was due for a CABG but was postphoned a day later, as the doctor had an emergency in the OT.
I don't think I had ever prayed and cried so hard or so much before-but I had to hide all my tears and fears because I needed to be the pillar of strength for the family now.
I had accompanied dad to all the checkups and I did alot of research, reading and taking in as much information about the heart bypass surgery- understanding the procedures and getting familiar with the medical terms.
I accompanied dad to the OT room and waited in the Visitors' Lounge for 5 hours while the surgery was performed. Only Allah knew how I felt that day while I waited in silence and in fear, all alone. Each time a family member called to ask about the progress, I had to reassure them that everything was just fine.I pretended to be strong, digging my nails into my hands, so they can't hear my voice crack while I choke back my tears.
The bypass was successful. Dad was recuperating well in the hospital. 8 days later, he was discharged from Ward 66 at the Kent Ridge Wing of NUH.
However, 2 weeks later, something unexpected happened. Dad collapsed at the hospital during a routine check up. Loss of blood- had to have a blood transfusion of 4 packets. Doctors found an ulcer in the stomach, and he had an infection going on in his surgical wounds. I feared the worst. This was all so very sudden and unexpected. I remembered my mum in tears when the doctors talked to us.
Again, I felt the burden of responsibilities weighing down on my shoulders, I had to take charge and be strong for everyone. I spoke to many doctors - Pro Kofidis, Dr Louis, Dr Vitali... I just needed to make sense of what was happening. Dad looked very frail and week. At that time, the doctors spoke to me about the severeness of the condition and about the mortality rate. I was aware of the high risks but told no one, especially my mum. Somehow, with the grace of Allah, dad made a slow recovery. 21 days in the hospital. 3 weeks of travelling to visit my dad in the mornings, then rushing back to school to teach, and then back to the hospital till evening. I knew my mum, sis, my poor kids and hubby were just as exhausted.
It is during these days of difficult times that I realize that everything really lies in the hands of Allah. I turned to Allah for strength and comfort. He gave me the will to persevere and gave me hope.
In January 28 , dad was due for a CABG but was postphoned a day later, as the doctor had an emergency in the OT.
I don't think I had ever prayed and cried so hard or so much before-but I had to hide all my tears and fears because I needed to be the pillar of strength for the family now.
I had accompanied dad to all the checkups and I did alot of research, reading and taking in as much information about the heart bypass surgery- understanding the procedures and getting familiar with the medical terms.
I accompanied dad to the OT room and waited in the Visitors' Lounge for 5 hours while the surgery was performed. Only Allah knew how I felt that day while I waited in silence and in fear, all alone. Each time a family member called to ask about the progress, I had to reassure them that everything was just fine.I pretended to be strong, digging my nails into my hands, so they can't hear my voice crack while I choke back my tears.
The bypass was successful. Dad was recuperating well in the hospital. 8 days later, he was discharged from Ward 66 at the Kent Ridge Wing of NUH.
However, 2 weeks later, something unexpected happened. Dad collapsed at the hospital during a routine check up. Loss of blood- had to have a blood transfusion of 4 packets. Doctors found an ulcer in the stomach, and he had an infection going on in his surgical wounds. I feared the worst. This was all so very sudden and unexpected. I remembered my mum in tears when the doctors talked to us.
Again, I felt the burden of responsibilities weighing down on my shoulders, I had to take charge and be strong for everyone. I spoke to many doctors - Pro Kofidis, Dr Louis, Dr Vitali... I just needed to make sense of what was happening. Dad looked very frail and week. At that time, the doctors spoke to me about the severeness of the condition and about the mortality rate. I was aware of the high risks but told no one, especially my mum. Somehow, with the grace of Allah, dad made a slow recovery. 21 days in the hospital. 3 weeks of travelling to visit my dad in the mornings, then rushing back to school to teach, and then back to the hospital till evening. I knew my mum, sis, my poor kids and hubby were just as exhausted.
It is during these days of difficult times that I realize that everything really lies in the hands of Allah. I turned to Allah for strength and comfort. He gave me the will to persevere and gave me hope.
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