Ilyas doesn't want me today. Woke him up this morning at 6 am and he got up crying wanting his ayah. I tried to talk to him calmly and that made him wail louder. I held his hand but he pushed my hand away. He ran out of the room and went to Ashari. I followed him while carrying Ilyasa who was still asleep. Then, Ilyas ran back into the room and slammed the door at my face. I pushed the door open and he threw a roll of paper towel right at me. I was determined not to raise my voice in the morning so I sat at the edge of the bed looking at him crying and rolling on the floor...I buried my face in my hands and sighed... In the car, he told my hubby that he wanted him and Nenek only...I held back my tears...
At mum's place, he didn't wan't me to make his milk. He carried the can of milk formula into my parent's room. He pushed past Ilyasa who was signalling him to play ball. 10 minutes later, when I wanted to to get him ready for school, he insisted that his Nenek will shower him. I offered him a choice of his favourite boiled eggs or bread for breakfast and he flatly refused both. He asked my mum to fry him scrambled eggs instead. Though I was seething with anger, I didn't get my emotions get the better of me. I talked to him gently and was blatantly ignored. That did it for me...I felt my heart breaking...
As I walked him to his school, not once throughout the journey did we talk or sing as we usually do...
I know that by the time I get home from work, he'll be his usual jolly self. He probably wouldn't remember how and why he refused me earlier. In the meantime, I would have already cried a bucket of tears...
