Growing years

Previously,my boys have slept on their own; in separate beds, mattresses and even separate tents. But all in the same room with us. After finally doing up their room, new bunk beds and all, my significant other and I are now facing the dilemma of letting the kids sleep alone. I think it was easier on the kids than it was for us. We ended up pulling up a mattress and sleeping on the floor in their room.
How difficult to let go...

House with no mirrors.

I recall this incident,
Was asked to write names of participants on some certificates.
That someone just had to say to me," Yes-lor. You should write, your handwriting better. My supervisor commented once as to why a person with a pretty face like me should have ugly handwriting."
Kepala hotak kamulah manusia potek!!!!
I rolled my eyeballs.
OIIIIII, your house got no mirror is it???!!!!!
It's not anything. We are all god's creation. It's the 'thick- skinned' way that she said it. The empty vessel makes the loudest noise. Bullseye! That's the most apt description for her.
People.....Hmmmm things that make me go hmmmmm....

Speak English Campaign

I'm sick of stupid and rude people speaking in their mother tongue when I am around and I happen to be part of that conversation. Plain bladdy stupid. So what if I can understand a smattering of the language. I make sure I speak English around my non-Malay friends.
Isn't it just Basic Courtesy?
During a recent camp I went, the kids and tchrs are speaking in Channel 8 when there are people of other races around. I spoke to the minority race kids and found out that they share my same sentiments. Being kids, they have no choice but to grin and bear with it. One kid told me he would walk off when in such a situation. Instructions given Channel 8, jokes in Channel 8... you'd think these kids and adults when to a non-mainstream school.
When I am in charge of this group of people, I will enforce a Speak English rule. And that's it!!

Time Magazine Person of the Year Winner.

Congratulations to all....

10 minutes of hell.

My worst nightmare came true when Ilyas went missing at Angsana Shopping Centre over at Johor. One moment he was with me in the shop, and the next moment he was gone. I ran around the store calling out his name. No answer. My heart dropped into the pitt of my stomach. Too many 'what ifs' flooded my head. It was so nerve wrecking. Dah start menangis pun. Words cannot describe my desperateness. Alerted my mum who was in the store too. Dia pun panicked. I ran and out of the store calling out his name. Hubby joined the search. Told me not to panic and calm down. How to???!!! My son was missing!!! When I saw my dad in another department of the store, I was already babbling like a mad woman. Asked him if he'd seen Ilyas. Ilyas WAS with him! That boy was standing infront of a mirror making funny faces; Didn't understand what the commotion was about. There his Ibu in tears relating to his Yayi that he had gone missing. And his Ayah and Nenek weaving in and out of the aisle calling out his name. He must have thought it was a game. Anak, anak...tsk..tsk.. more grey hair. I was extremely exhausted after the ordeal. Hilang mood nak shopping.
Now i understand why some parents use a 'child leash' on their kids when they are out in the public.

Sinetrons.

First it was DIA, now HIKMAH...
Indonesian Sinetrons, I can't understand why I'm so hooked on them.
Eventhough I shake my head in disbelief at the stupidity of the characters, the thin plot, the recycled storyline, I still watch them.
Jalan cerita, all the same.
Notice the number of times:
1) the main characters go in and out of the hospitals(to be warded or visiting).
Dunno how many times they get sick with some kind of terminal disease.
2) the main characters get knocked down by vehicles. Ape tak de zebra crossing ke?
3) the main characters get into "APA, Kecelakaan?" or "APA, si pulan bin pulan Kemalangan?!!".

I remembered in DIA, I was so mad at Dia-for being so forgiving& not standing up for herself & taking all the crap, mad at Ivan for being a weakling and a sissy, Fiffy-for her slithering ways. Now in Hikmah, I'm sooooo furious at Ana for being so forgiving & not standing up for herself, furious at Andrian for being a weakling & a sissy, furious at .......HA! See there's a pattern!
From what I heard, Hikmah 2 & 3 also same storyline. Di dera, di aniaya, di salah anggap...May I suggest an alternative ending.
Girl wakes up and realizes she ain't gonna take any more nonsense from anyone. She decides to do something worthwhile with her life. No longer will she be the victim of consequences. The next time she gets hit, she pulverizes that person to a pulp. She tells her hubby/soulmate to take a hike. She packs her bag and moves to another city. She gets a new life, a new job, a new haircut, a new wardrobe....something to that extent..

Been watching the Bold and Beatiful since 1997.

Amazing Race at Bintan ferry terminal.

Tanah Merah ferry terminal and Bintan ferry terminal.....
There are many nut cases out there.
Why do people( ...Singaporeans-lah, the cave dwelling ones from atas bukit , you know who I am referring to) run from the ferry terminal to the ferries? Afraid there won't be any seats? Hey, you bought a ticket what? Why so kanchong? must chope , is it?
It' s really crazy.I don't understand. People, auntie, uncle, apek, nyonya actually RUN. I MEAN really RUN towards the ferry once the gates are opened! It seems that it's a daily phenomenon that the workers don't even bat an eyelid at this stupid mass exodus of weird behaviour.
It's bladdy scary I tell you. A stampede is just waiting to happen. People push and shove others while running to get into the ferry. It's the Amazing Race meets Survivor. Ridiculous.
How to deal with this madness? Don't follow the herd and run like wilderbeasts in the plains. Socially unacceptable. (though it does give new meaning to the phrase the 'Human Race'...muah hahaha...
Came up with a couple of solutions.
1) Laugh. Seriously Laugh and point to the ones who are running. They won't stop running, I tell you, but they'll probably slow down knowing they are the objects of ridicule. You would find them hilarious, Really.
2) Get it recorded on tape. Then send it to the Animal Planet network. They'll probably air it under the 'Most Extreme' documentary series.
3) Get the producers of the Amazing Race to get the ferry terminal as one of the pit stop. Imagine the chaos. The contestants would get a rude shock coz, when they run, a whole lotta of others will try to outrun them.
4) Stroll. Be the last to board the ferry. Once in it, give a round of applause and announce to the ones who are already comfy in the seats that, "Yes, kao orang are the champions!" and " Hurray, AKU LAST. Berikan tepukkan gemuruh!!" Take a bow and find a seat.

Things that make you go hmm.....
EWSS...If the tickets you book and the seats in the ferries are numbered accordingly, then people can stroll and smell the sea breeze...

Lost Handphone.

I lost my handphone. Dunno where it went to. Disappeared just like that.
Big problem coz all the contacts are saved in the SIM card.
Dunno how many people must have been cursing me since they can't get thru'.
Yikes.
Got the dates and notes all organized in the phone. Now back to pen and paper I suppose.

The Original Powerpuff Girls!

GLORIA, KASIDAH AND ME!
THE ORIGINAL POWERPUFF GIRLS.
(er...Kas, I ripped this off from your page, sorri ler)

I miss my two frenz.
I love you guys!!!

This is at the annual PEPS Dinner held at the CSC.
What fun we had!

Whatever.

Recently, a wise friend, *ena, gave me a good advice..Anger is like hot burning coal, you hold it, you burn yourself; just let it go. I promised her I will.
I promise myself that after writing this entry, I shall no longer be angry with this particular person. I shall let my anger diffuse into hyper space.
START ---
Blabbering Inane Rambling... What lah, just coz you are more senior doesn't mean you can do whatever you want. You have no special priviliges.
Don't cut corners. You are not entitled too.
People around you are not blind. They are bound to notice. They HAVE EYES.
Excuses, excuses. Cut the crap, I'm also tired. I have a family too.
Stop that I am Holier than thou' belief....Don't use religion to emotionally blackmail people. Integrity in word and deed!!! How about being fair to other people around you? How about 'Amanah'? How about humility? How about doing your share of work?
There's no need to suck up to people in position. Stop it! If you like to volunteer ferry people around so much, then drive a ferry instead.
Don't think you are standing on a higher moral ground than the rest of us. You are NOT!
Quit telling me things I don't want to know. Stop telling me the TOP TENs to every thing; That you have tasted a much better whatever, that you have been to a better whatever, that you have seen a better whatever... It's not a competition. Really, I don't give a crap.
It's all in your head. What makes you think you know everything? Everyone is entitled to their own opinion but you do not need to air it to everyone within earshot.
Everyone gets sick once in a while. But we still push on. What's you reason?
Why do you claim credit over things you've not done to again everyone within earshot.
STOP.

I'm done. I will move on. Looking forward to the holidays.

3A PERFORMS FOR DEEPARAYA CONCERT

Some of my pupils performing for the Deeparaya Concert. Song By Yusoff Islam - Months in Islam.

It has been ages since my last entry. Up to my eyeballs with work again. The marking and remarking of exam scripts, the tabulating of scores, the keying in of marks in to cockpit system, the generating of result slips....phew!! so many things to do but so little time.

SELAMAT HARI RAYA!

EID MUBARAK!

ILYAS AND ILYASA

We'll miss you, mate.

A good man has passed away. Eventhough, we do not know him personally, we feel very close to him. We have learnt a lot from him. My kids watch him every other day on TV. I have been watching his show since way back in the old house. We were in tears when we heard about his death.
Dear Steve Irwin, we'll miss you, mate.

Teachers' Day

7 years in teaching profession. Teachers' Day is indeed a day that I look forward to every year. It's not the gifts or the handmade cards from my pupils that I eagerly await, rather it's the annual visits by my now grown babies. This year is no exception, Joshua, Wei Xiang, Jonathan, XiuYing, Charles, Li Jie came to PEPS to hunt/haunt me. I miss them sooo dearly. This is the 5E/6E batch of 2002. This is the batch that came to my wedding. The ones who were fussing around me when I was pregnant with my first baby. Thank you for taking some time off to see your teacher. I was very touched when Li Jie apologised to me something nasty he said way back in 6E. Water under the bridge, I told him. He and Joshua actually sat in my maths lesson in the 3A classroom. Missed my scoldings,ranting and nagging,eh?
To all my ex-pupils out there, Remember you are not measured by the house you live in , the car you drive, the holidays you take, the credit cards you own, the paper qualifications you possess...its your character and your values that you carry with you are what defines you as a human being. I want to be not just a literate person, but an educated person.

3 decades

I will be turning 30 tomorrow.
To health, wisdom, happiness and wealth...Cheers..

My love is like water pinned down and abused for being strange..

Marriage is not just about love and happiness. No one lives on love and sunshine only.
To make a marriage work, you learn to adapt, tolerate, evolve, accomodate, nurture yourself and your other half.
To live happily ever after is a phrase used only in fairy tales.
In real life, you have your ups and downs, sores and bumps.

My thoughts.

It has been a hectic week for me. I was again up to my eyeballs with work. The MoeExcel Fest, the Caterpillar concert and my own 3A performing during assembly. It was a whole lot of juggling.
I met a an old friend recently. Her child is in my school. Updated on all the others. I didn't know how to feel, how to respond. Does that even mean anything? The conversation brought up memories of my past. That chapter of my life is closed. I am genuinely happy that my 'friends of the past' are doing well. I am glad to hear that they now have families of their own. But my heart did feel a tinge of sadness. 4th December 1998- a dark day in history. Looking back, I feel blessed that Allah gave me the strength and courage to move on. My father and my mother were there for me. My siblings gave me the emotional support when I was crippled with sadness. My NIE friends rallied around me and ensured that I was never lonely. Saira, Kak Hajar, Sisca, Sara, Fazlinda, Suriati, Ratna, Haz and so many others were there. Thank you. These people gave me meaning to the difference between real friends and acquintances.
I have done so many things since that fateful day. I have conquered mountains, tamed rivers, travelled to places that enriched my life with wonderful experiences. I met amazing people, the ones that I am now closest to. My first batch of pupils that I taught are in tertiary education. I fell in love again and got married. I have 2 wonderful boys. A new chapter of my life is just beginning. Behind every dark cloud, there's a silver lining. Allah took somethings away from me because HE wanted to give me many more beautiful things in return. Alhamdullilah.

Indah,Emi, Aleen, Linda, Su and Haz. I treasure the fun moments we had, the laughter we shared before. I pray for your happiness and health.

I found the closure that I needed.

Lemons.

Work sucks. Big time.
Teaching is fine. I lurve teaching. It's the other things that get to me.
"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!" - Hah! Whoever came up with that must have meant it for matryrs.
Got to go through the obstacles of pecking order, red tape, a ladder of bureaucracies, departments, taboos, running after people for signatures and approvals... enough exercise to burn off unwanted calories for the day. Taiji, WP-Wayang Party, ...Arrgh!
Yes, I have been very busy, And yes, it's just the first day of school. Crazy.


....Moving to the country, I'm gonna eat alot of peaches....

Sad Morning.

Ilyas doesn't want me today. Woke him up this morning at 6 am and he got up crying wanting his ayah. I tried to talk to him calmly and that made him wail louder. I held his hand but he pushed my hand away. He ran out of the room and went to Ashari. I followed him while carrying Ilyasa who was still asleep. Then, Ilyas ran back into the room and slammed the door at my face. I pushed the door open and he threw a roll of paper towel right at me. I was determined not to raise my voice in the morning so I sat at the edge of the bed looking at him crying and rolling on the floor...I buried my face in my hands and sighed... In the car, he told my hubby that he wanted him and Nenek only...I held back my tears...

At mum's place, he didn't wan't me to make his milk. He carried the can of milk formula into my parent's room. He pushed past Ilyasa who was signalling him to play ball. 10 minutes later, when I wanted to to get him ready for school, he insisted that his Nenek will shower him. I offered him a choice of his favourite boiled eggs or bread for breakfast and he flatly refused both. He asked my mum to fry him scrambled eggs instead. Though I was seething with anger, I didn't get my emotions get the better of me. I talked to him gently and was blatantly ignored. That did it for me...I felt my heart breaking...

As I walked him to his school, not once throughout the journey did we talk or sing as we usually do...

I know that by the time I get home from work, he'll be his usual jolly self. He probably wouldn't remember how and why he refused me earlier. In the meantime, I would have already cried a bucket of tears...

Last week of hols.

Ilyas and his "Ee-Ee" - the code name for bantal busuk.
Ilyas has finally stopped wearing diapers! Yeah! Credit to my mom and his teachers at JustKids. Now my youngling announces that he needs to wee wee and confidently strides to the toilet. A pat on my back. Wo ho!
Underwear. Cute, tiny boys underwear. $9.90 for a pack of 3 Spiderman undies. That's pretty pricey but since it's his firsts, well, nevermind. So, decided to scour the pasar malams or rather pasar pagi at Bt Batok and found quite a bargain. 2 packs of 5 boys undies - Thomas the Engine and Superman, $8.00 - that's 10 undies, Spidey. Superman does wear his undies over his tights , right... hmmm...


My boys on a jeep.
Been spending quality time with my brood. I am loving every moment of it. Ilyasa has been emulating soccer players. Kicks a ball (imaginary or otherwise) and hollers, "Goal!" with his fists in the air. I think we have found a climber in the family. Hubby is pleased. I'm sure he's gonna whisk the kids away to do some rock-climbing or wall climbing as soon as I give the green light.

Been catching up on my reading. Not new books though. Saw my old collection of Malory Towers by Enid Blyton in the study and have spent the nights reading them.

Went swimming with kids. They are now 5 shades darker eventhough I slab them all over with sunblock.

Enjoying my hols. Smiles.Cheers.

Stuff in 2nd Week of June Hols

This is the inside of my father's Mazda Premacy.
The air-con button has been pushed several inches into the panel.
My powerful little finger. So, my fault-lah. I merely pushed the button, wanting to turn on the aircon but silly little thing got thumped right in. I must have posessed superhuman strength that day. Ruqaiyah thought it was hilarious. Luckily for me, father also thought it was hilarious. haha...Nasib baik tak kena marah...

This pretty lady is one of my dearest friends, Saira Banu.

She's a wonderful person, a good listener, a dynamic educator, crazy, giler-giler...We met up during the hols for lunch. Vowed to meet up once a month. Talking to my buddies is therapy to me. Keeps my sanity intact. I am blessed to have good friends around me. People of strong character - Kasidah, Hasimah, Fadhillah, Zuraidah, Sanimah, Hafyzah, Norfidah.....many others, Jessie, Gloria...Alhamdullilah.

Cheers.

3rd week of hols

Last weekend, we brought the boys to a goat farm, a frog farm and finally to Qian Hu fish farm(again!). Farm Hopping in Lim Chu Kang! Ilyas had a taste of goat's milk. Made a face and tried to wipe the aftertaste from his tongue using his hand... hahaha.Ilyasa was quite terrified of the goats at first. Had this constipated look on his face when the kids (baby goats) tried to eat the hay out of his hands!
Frog farm - bladdy big tadpoles. Gave a quick science lesson on the life cycle of a frog to Ilyas. He was more interested in scooping out the tadpoles from the water! I am glad that there are still remote places in Singapore where children can be exposed to nature.

Sent Ashari to Hougang Pri yesterday. My sis, Ru, in the back seat. I assumed that she was making a mental note of the routes as she's the one driving the car home. But alas ...no! She was also dreaming away like me. So... after dropping my Dearest off, she started driving, I gave the directions and.. We were lost in Singapore! We had trouble weaving through the roads out of the east to the west! That's why I don't drive! Too stressful! Well, we did get home in one piece though.

Missing Ashari. Sob.
Okay, gotta do some work now... will write again.

Hey, first entry!

Yeah! My very first entry! But what a date to start one, huh, 06/06/06!
I am in school, in my cubicle, alone in the staffroom typing furiously. The 2 kids are at Nenek's place and hubby at NIE attending a course. Many other things to be done but they can wait....
Hmmm..what shall I write about...
Term 2 Holidays...wonderful. 2nd week oledi. Today, we woke up late, again. Ilyas and Ilyasa were up only at 8. Tak payah mandi, can shower them over at mum's. Hubby drove us to my mum's place to send the kids. In the car, listened to the audio reading of 'The Gruffalo's Child'. Ilyas loves it. He will imitate the voices. But i think it's about time I get another Julia Donaldson book. Getting kinda tired of the Gruffalo. Well, As will pick me up soon and then we'll get the kids. Where to go after that? Not Jurong Point again! Weekly pilgrimage to Toys R US. Ilyas will say," I tak beli. I tengok je , ok, ibu". Yeah, right!
Will write again, soon, on other issues.